I thought I would feel this way when this happened but I felt this way. Last year felt like recrafting the template of expectation, which is a big part of what makes life thick with joy and sadness. I found and still find myself distracted for days at a time, then focused for hours, then numb. Is it the continuous process of grief? Or is it something else and if so, what? I thought about this for two weeks.

emily rapp

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